I hate feeling sorry for myself

Salam,

I just hate that. Yes!

I hate feeling vulnerable. I hate letting people see how miserable I am. So i hide them. Then when I hide them I start to feel tired, when I feel tired I get all emo. When I get all emo I cry. I cannot believe that I've  been crying every night. Since Tues night I never stop crying. Give me an empty moment alone with me & my head I cry. Ppl saying things that "Filzah you are strong!" I'll get all emo after that. Only god knows how weak I feel. I feel like I cannot get through the day. I feel empty & alone. Like theres no one supporting me. Then theres this thing that I came across...

I never give chance for anyone to be close to me yes...bt the part where ppl leaving I am not sure. Like I said, I am close to a lot of ppl but I have a hard time trusting all of them. Its easy for me to be there for them but I have trouble letting them be there for me. I don't open up well to ppl. Its like yes I tell you things but most things are not my true feelings. I am aware of that recently.

Ugghhhhh whats w u Filzah....subhanallah!